Adventures in Adult Tobogganing

What do you get when you add four "adults", several toboggans, a large snowy hill, beer and the cover of night? One classy time that is for sure.

Scene:

A pretty fancy Toronto neighbourhood (Everyone knows the kind I am talking about, the kind where the houses are huge, but in reality on average only 3 people live in the house so there are entire rooms that no one uses), on a snowy February night.

Great now that the scene has been set on to the fun part, the classy part.

As any good Canadian will tell you there is nothing like going tobogganing as a kid, except maybe when you have to climb all the way back up that hill it always feels much higher than it did on the way down, anyway at some point most people stop participating in this wonderful activity. Many adults firmly believe that tobogganing is an activity best left for children and maybe their parents and to these people I say you don't know what you are missing!

I am very fortunate in that I have a wonderful upstairs neighbour who was the architect of this wonderful night and as result of her hard work (read- sending a couple of text messages) four adults got to have an incredibly fun night out for the low, low cost of beer.

The evening started out pretty low key with everyone taking turns (because sadly we only had three sleds a problem that shall be solved for next time) and chatting nicely, but as what can often happen when classy folk get together (this included a gentleman in lady snow-pants and two people just wearing layers because they did not have access to the correct attire) it soon descended into chaos. Soon we were no longer enjoying the simply pleasure of going down a snow covered hill really fast, nope we had graduated and now we battling our way down. This battle was hard fought and full of trickery (see- holding someones toboggan back or directing them towards the tress), but most importantly it was certainly judged by anyone else who was near the park that night.

As our toboggans crashed into one another and the screaming got louder, so did the voice in our heads telling us that we were most assuredly being judged (and probably not favourably). Thankfully we did not care and on our victorious walk home (for everyone wins the object is to knock your opponent off their toboggan by any means necessary) we beamed back at those sour faces with pride for we knew that in truth they were just jealous of our mad skills. 

Who else knows how to enjoy a good adult toboggan ride?

First Date Fumbles & Grappling with Gravity

Show of hands - you've finally found the balls (or ovaries, if you prefer) to ask that gentleman or lady of interest out on a date and received a successful response?

Great! Pat yourself on the back! If you have managed to do the dance of joy, a jig of happiness or managed not to vomit thanks to the stress of it all finally being resolved then you are in excellent shape and should continue to shimmy like a twitterpated maniac. Points to those who have done this in public.

Keep your hands up if you've made solid arrangements. You are dressed to impress (so to speak) and are ready to go.

Hands held high...you've managed to lose (as in lose track of) the gentleman or lady in question? Oops?

In the scheme of being talented, miscommunication or lack of active listening have resulted in an interesting predicament.

I happen to be a talented individual. The first date I've had in 3 plus years and I've managed to make it to the cafe in good time, grab a beverage and a seat...then time passes and the guy in question isn't in the chair opposite me. Hm.

Instead he shows up at my house to pick me up, because gloriously, chivalry is not dead...and I am not there. Go figure. Conflict resolution via text puts us back on track and caffeinated beverages are had.

Fast-forward to the end of the evening when you are walking to the door...or up the laneway...or maybe even up the gang plank...

A lesson I learned very early on in life is that gravity and I have a very tenuous relationship. When I say tenuous relationship I mean a complete lack of respect for one another. So naturally, when I would love to be graceful on two feet, gravity decides to rear her ugly head and declare that tonight is not going to be my night. Bitch.

It's dusk and a beautiful summer evening. As we walk on the lawn towards the side door chatting amicably I am unfortunate enough to step into a giant pothole (or "crater", if you listen to my friend's reinterpretation of events in a Russian accent). In an epic show of class, I flail wildly and grunt while tumbling to my knees across the lawn, almost performing a full on face plant into the dirt.

Show of hands - who is feeling better about their previous "first dates"?

The rules....

Before we go any further we believe that it is important to establish
some ground rules for what is required to make you classy by
comparison:

1. The person you are comparing yourself to must always be within your
age range, as it is only fair to compare yourself to your
contemporaries.

2. It is best to have an outside source confirm that the "unclassy"
behaviour is in fact worse than yours (a friend is often the best
source for this confirmation).

3. Comparisons must always be made in good fun; this blog was created
out of a fun conversation and is intended to create more fun
conversations.

4. Never be afraid to acknowledge that you are making other people
classy by comparison to you. This is an important place in our society
and you should hold your head high...but probably not too high.

Finally, let the comparisons begin.....

Three Shots of Inspiration and a Mixer

Our inspiration for this endeavour developed one lovely summer evening at our local Boston Pizza restaurant in the company of fine friends and fabulous fishbowls.

In point of fact, the combination of the patio, end of summer breezes, bright full moon, and cold beverages was very motivating for our brain cells – clever and fun ideas do tend to occur more when alcohol stimulates our neurons and synapses.

(We realize that alcohol is actually an inhibitor but please, just join us on this adventure already and remember – unlike the instructions you get at the amusement park, you are free to wave your hands around wildly outside of the ride. Figuratively of course.)

Aside from three shots and mixer in a bowl analogous of the home of a tiny, water bound creature, stories of a post-border voyage flittered in and out of conversation through the evening.

One story in particular drew our attention to the reality that even on our worst days – in behaviour, attitude, or state of dress or fashion – you can always take solace in the certainty that somewhere, someone else is in a worse state than you.

Unintentional though it may be, you are classy by comparison…